so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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