We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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