I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
