piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
