Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
