Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
