So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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