ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
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Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
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I didn't notice because vodka
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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