READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Randomize