my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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