If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
