Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
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Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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