he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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