Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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