i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
