I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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