Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
