i would punch a child for taco bell
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
