Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
