I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
