i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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