Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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