my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
