Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
