Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
