I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
