First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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