The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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