He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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