dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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