Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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