party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
