you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
