you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
