She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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