I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
