soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
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We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
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Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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