May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
try to milk me bitch
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
