doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
