Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
