Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
