She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
