Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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