Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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