capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
