We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
