Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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