you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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