Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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