take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
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