I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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