If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
