apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
