I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Dear god my vagina.
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