what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize