did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
